How to Prepare for College: A DBT-Inspired Guide for Teens

Graduating high school is a major milestone, and with it comes excitement, anxiety, and a whole lot of change. Whether you're counting down the days to college or feeling unsure about what’s next, it's totally normal to feel a mix of emotions. You’re stepping into a new chapter, and it’s okay not to have it all figured out yet.

The good news? You don’t need a perfect plan. You just need some tools to help you take the next step forward. Here are a few DBT-based skills and tips to help you feel more ready—emotionally, mentally, and practically—for the journey ahead.

1. Focus on What You Can Control

There’s a lot that’s uncertain right now, but not everything is out of your hands. In fact, small choices can make a big difference in how grounded you feel.

A few things you can control today:

• Your sleep routine
• How you talk to yourself
• What you say yes (or no) to
• Who you reach out to for support
• Asking for help when you need it
• How you spend the next 15 minutes

You don’t need a five-year plan. Just one next step is enough.

2. Learn the Real-Life Skills They Don’t Always Teach You

College isn’t just about classes—it’s about learning how to take care of yourself, speak up, and stay true to who you are. These DBT-based skills are a great place to start:

DEAR MAN – A formula for asking for what you need

• D - Describe: Start by describing the situation factually and without judgment.
• E - Express: Clearly express your feelings about the situation using "I" statements.
• A - Assert: Assertively state your needs, wants, or requests.
• R - Reinforce: Reinforce the positive effects or benefits of your request.
• M - Mindful: Stay mindful of your goals and the desired outcome. Don’t get distracted by attacks or if the other person changes the subject.
• A - Appear Confident: Use body language and tone of voice that conveys confidence.
• N - Negotiate: Be open to negotiation while maintaining your self-respect.

FAST – A skill to help you keep your self-respect

• F - (Be) Fair: Treat yourself and the other person fairly, considering both perspectives.
• A - (No) Apologies: Don't apologize when it's unnecessary; stand by your beliefs.
• S - Stick to Your Values: Maintain your values and principles even when under pressure.
• T - (Be) Truthful: Be honest, but do so in a way that respects the other person's feelings

PLEASE – Basic habits that support mental health

• P and L - Treat Physical Illness: Address any physical ailments or illnesses promptly, take medication as directed
• E - Intuitive Eating: Not eating too little or too much. Make food choices that feel good to you
• A - Avoid Mood-Altering Substances: Limit or avoid drugs or alcohol that can negatively affect your mood.
• S - Balance Sleep: Prioritize sleep to support emotional stability, ideally 7 to 9 hours a night.
• E - Exercise: Engage in regular physical activity about 20 min or more daily.

These are the kinds of tools that help you show up as your best self, especially when life gets stressful.

Want guided support in learning these skills? TheraHive’s Adolescent DBT Skills Group helps teens practice real-world tools like DEAR MAN, FAST, and PLEASE in a safe, supportive space. Learn more here.

3. Make a Personal Coping Plan (Future You Will Be Glad You Did)

There will be tough days. And when they come, it helps to have a plan. Try this:

• List 3 things you can do when you’re overwhelmed
• List 3 people you can call or text
• Identify a few safe or calming places (online or IRL)
• Write down reminders or words that help you stay grounded

Bonus idea: Write a short letter to your future self. Who do you hope to become in a year? What do you want to remember about this moment? What are you already proud of?

Change Is Hard, but You're Ready

Transitions are rarely easy, but they are meaningful. Feeling a mix of emotions is part of the process. With support, self-awareness, and a few practical skills, you can navigate what’s ahead with resilience and clarity.

If you’re a teen (or the parent of a teen) looking for more support during this transition, TheraHive’s Adolescent DBT Skills Group is a great next step. We offer practical, evidence-based tools to help teens build emotional resilience and confidence for what’s ahead. Explore the group here.

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