The DBT Skill That Acts Like an Emotional Force Field

Imagine having a force field around you. Not one that seals you off from the world, but one that absorbs the hits. When someone snaps at you. When a plan falls apart. When the day piles on. Instead of getting knocked off course, you feel it, process it, and keep moving forward.

That's essentially what a DBT emotional regulation skill called Accumulating Positives in the Short Term is designed to do.

I'm one of the co-founders of TheraHive, and I make a point of going through our program at least every 18 months to keep my own DBT skills sharp. This week I was in week four of the Emotional Regulation module. We were working on this skill, and something clicked for me in a new way. I want to share it.

What Is Accumulating Positives in the Short Term?

Accumulating Positives in the Short Term is a DBT emotional regulation skill focused on intentionally increasing your contact with positive experiences throughout your day. The goal isn't to force happiness or pretend the hard stuff isn't real. It's to proactively fill your emotional reserves so that when stress shows up, you have more to draw from.

In our TheraHive groups, we use the metaphor of a bank account. Big deposits matter: a consistent exercise routine, meaningful relationships, creative hobbies. But this skill is especially about the smaller transactions. The pennies, nickels, and dimes you can pick up throughout the day. They all add up.

Research backs this up. Studies on positive emotions show that they don't just feel good in the moment. Over time, they broaden how we think and build lasting psychological resources, including resilience, stronger social connections, and better physical health. Understanding how positive emotions create upward spirals is one of the most useful things you can learn in DBT, and this skill is the practical application of that idea.

Regular vs. Ad Hoc: A Distinction Worth Making

Here's the insight that landed for me this week.

Most of us who practice this skill tend to develop a set of regular positive practices. Things that are baked into our daily or weekly routines. For me, that looks like making cappuccinos for myself and my wife every morning, riding bikes with my son to school a couple of days a week, stepping out to the back porch for five minutes between meetings to get some air and sunlight, and sending a weekly gratitude message to my colleagues. Regular. Scheduled. Reliable.

But there's a second category that gets far less attention: ad hoc accumulating positives. These are activities that aren't on any calendar but are available whenever you need them. A five-minute dance party with your kids. A love note tucked into a lunchbox. A haiku written for a friend or a stranger.

When I stopped and actually wrote out both lists, something became clear: my regular list was solid. My ad hoc list was thin. And more importantly, I hadn't been especially intentional or creative about it. I'd been going through the motions.

The Creative Opportunity in the Ad Hoc List

This is the part I find most worth sharing, because our group discussion this week brought it to life in a way I didn't expect.

One participant shared that she leaves little origami birds in the homes of friends she visits. She calls them "positive pranks." Another described making a point of calling one friend she hadn't spoken to in a while every single week. What struck me about both examples is that they accumulate positives partly by generating something good for someone else. That's not a coincidence. Connecting with others and adding unexpected joy to someone's day are among the most reliable ways to fill your own cup.

The ad hoc list is where this skill gets creative. It's an invitation to play, to surprise yourself, and to think beyond the default.

Write Out Both Lists

Take 10 minutes and get them on paper. The act of writing them down changes how you see your own practice. Most people find their regular list is stronger than they realized, and their ad hoc list reveals a real opportunity.

Here's a snapshot from my own lists:

Regular:

• Kiss my wife and give her a hug before she leaves for work
 
• 5 minutes on the back porch between meetings, sun on my face
 
• Making the perfect cappuccino for myself and my wife each morning
 
• Sending a weekly gratitude message to my colleagues
 
• Playing favorite songs in the car on the way to run errands

Ad Hoc:

• 5-minute disco party with the kids (pull down the shades, put on music, flip on the mini disco ball)
 
• Quick yoga or stretching session with a family member or friend
 
• Write a fun haiku and give it to a friend or a stranger
 
• Play a mini crossword puzzle
 
• Draft a love note and hide it in my kids' or wife's lunch bag

Nothing on either list is dramatic. That's the point.

Practicing Alongside Others Makes It Stick

The origami birds didn't come from a worksheet. They came from a group conversation. So did the weekly phone calls. There's something about learning these skills alongside other people who are working on the same things that unlocks a kind of creativity and accountability that's hard to replicate on your own.

A study conducted in partnership with researchers at Brown University found that TheraHive students demonstrated meaningful reductions in anxiety and stress over the course of the program. The group format isn't a nice-to-have in those results. It's a core part of how the skills take root.

If you're looking for a structured way to build your DBT emotional regulation practice, including this skill, an online DBT skills group is worth exploring. TheraHive is a psychoeducational program, not therapy. But for a lot of people, the skills and the community are exactly what moves the needle.

Final thought: You don't need a life overhaul for this skill to work. You need a list, a little intention, and permission to be creative. Go pick up some pennies.

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