What To Do If Your Teen Is Resisting DBT

You know your child is struggling. You’ve done the research, and you know that learning Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills could be a life-changing privilege. But when you bring it up, you hit a wall.

It is a significant challenge for many parents: You are offering a resource that could change their life, but they simply don't want to go.

Before we talk about how to move past this, it is helpful to pause and look at what might be happening beneath the surface.

Understanding the Resistance

When a teen digs their heels in, it rarely means they don't want to feel better. Often, the resistance is a protective mechanism or a misunderstanding of what is being asked of them.

• It could be Fear: The idea of a "mental health program" can be terrifying. They might worry about being judged, being labeled, or having to share their deepest thoughts with strangers.
• It could be a Push for Autonomy: Adolescence is defined by separating from parents. If a parent is pushing for the program, the teen may push back simply to assert control over their own life. It’s not necessarily about the therapy; it’s about who is making the decision.
• It could be Preconceptions: Many teens have a skewed idea of what a "Group Program" looks like based on TV or movies. They might imagine a sad circle of people over-sharing, not realizing that a Therahive group is actually a skills-based class—more like a workshop than "therapy."

There are many reasons a child might say "no." Regardless of the root cause, forcing the issue usually creates more friction. At Therahive, we’ve learned that the key is finding a way to connect with your teen—often by changing the terms of the engagement.

Here are three strategies that help parents navigate this resistance and facilitate willingness.

1. Facilitate Willingness with a Connection-First Enrollment Session

If the resistance is coming from a battle for autonomy, sometimes the best thing a parent can do is remove themselves from the equation.

We have seen great success in simply getting the child to show up to a TheraHive information session with somebody on our enrollment team.

• A Neutral Third Party: Our enrollment team is outside the family dynamic. The power struggle dissolves because we aren't their parents.
• Validation: We focus on making them feel heard. We validate their hesitation.
• Peer Perspective: We help them hear from other adolescents about what their experience has been, shifting the narrative from "medical treatment" to "empowering life skills."

If our team can connect with your child, we can often facilitate the willingness that you are struggling to get at home.

2. Reduce the Fear: Purchase a One-on-One Session

If the resistance is rooted in fear—fear of groups, fear of the unknown—a full program commitment can feel overwhelming.

A powerful alternative is to purchase a single, one-on-one session with one of our adolescent group leaders. This lowers the stakes significantly.

• Safety First: Meeting a coach one-on-one allows the teen to develop rapport and trust without the social pressure of a group setting.
• Demystifying the Process: The coach can show them that DBT isn't scary. It's practical.
• Sparking Interest: Often, getting excited about the coach leads to getting excited about the group.

3. Shorten the Timeline: Commit to a Single Module

Sometimes the resistance is about the size of the commitment. A full course can feel like a life sentence to a teenager.

Instead of asking for a full commitment, ask for a trial run. Suggest they commit to just one module.

• The "Trial Period" Approach: A single module, like Mindfulness (4 weeks) or Distress Tolerance (6 weeks), feels manageable.
• An Exit Ramp: Knowing they have an "out" after a few weeks often lowers their defenses enough to get them through the door.
• The Result: Once they are in the group, learn a few skills, and realize the environment is supportive rather than stifling, they often choose to stay for the rest of the program on their own.

🔥 Follow Their Lead: Resonating with Their Motivation

Finally, remember that all adolescents show up differently. If you are trying to "sell" the program to them, use the language that matters to them, not just to you.

It is best to follow your kid's lead. Lean into what they resonate with.

We are here to collaborate with you. By understanding the source of their resistance and offering low-stakes, connection-based introductions, we can increase the likelihood that your child will take a chance on learning the skills they need.

Struggling to break through the resistance? Contact our enrollment team today. Let us help you facilitate that first step.